Taking from one of the many brilliant quotes of His Holiness, the Dalai Lama: “To be aware of a single shortcoming within oneself is more useful than to be aware of a thousand in someone else.” It allows us to accept our faults, as well as our truths, and take affirmative action.
Our reality is a shape-shifter and will confront us all through life in different ways. So how do we look at understanding or changing it?! Is it one massive exercise in changing one’s approach to life? Or an analysis of what went wrong and how to correct it?
Is it about erasing the imprints of early impressions that may have clouded our very being? Or simply a way of re-visiting a part of us that is in conflict with where we want to be?
The media always asked me how I dealt with pressure from society of being a woman in the “booze business”. The question always surprised me as I am part of that same society. If I steadfastly walked the path I knew was right for me, then society and its reality would have to change with mine!
Action, inaction
Quite often the consequences we are faced with are a result of our own actions – or inaction. Sometimes we allow ourselves to be used, manipulated or even hurt because we do not have the ability to say ‘no’.
But if we are aware, we have the power to correct the course and set ourselves free. Don’t allow the action of others to destroy your balance. Do not drown yourself in anger and self-pity. Take a deep breath, calm yourself and let it go. It’s okay to take a step back, take time out. But then get back up and know that only you have the power to change your life.
Train yourself to listen to the inner you; it’s a very powerful tool. For most part we don’t acknowledge its existence because it is quiet and fleeting. We tune it out. Don’t think about it. Or even know it is there.
All we need to do is de-clutter the mind, erase the noise, quiet down, calm ourselves and learn to listen. It is the keeper of our reality. And now that I have waxed eloquent about the power of self, here are some eureka moments that reshaped my reality!
Stirred, not shaken
“I’ll have a Martini please; make mine with vodka, shaken not stirred.“ These words immediately conjure the image of a dashing secret agent and his crazy pursuits – with a Martini on the side, always! I was a fan of Ian Fleming and James Bond. Then came the movies and the incredible Sean Connery. And that Martini!! I was sold.
Then bartending happened. And with that came an understanding of stirred and shaken, gin vs vodka. I was shattered. He had forsaken the real, power-packed deal for the more diluted, easy drinking version. Oh the betrayal, the disillusionment!
Excuses were made: My inner voice told me firmly to get real. I pushed it aside, letting me continue in my fantasy. I’m all grown up now. I know better. My reality has changed. But Bond is still Bond!
My earliest understanding of believing my inner voice may seem trivial to those outside the sphere of our world of beverages. It was simply changing people’s perception of a drink called the Bloody Mary! Served in a short stubby, occasionally ugly, whisky glass – which brought about a fleeting thought of calling it a ‘Bloody John’ instead!
I decided Mary deserved a makeover. I put her in a shapely glass with a zingy flavour and gave her a wardrobe of garnishes instead of only one, tired celery stick. People loved the revisited Mary and that was the first step in a seeped of similar changes. The rest is history.
Anything’s possible!
When I was in the 3rd year of IHM Mumbai (1979) the Morbi floods in Gujarat happened. All communication was cut. My father and a group of amateur radio operators (HAMS) from Mumbai went to Morbi to set up a communications network.
I was asked to pitch in by keeping track at my Dad’s home station in case they needed assistance. I had no formal training except being around my Dad and listening in now and again. But I picked up very quickly and manned the station effectively. It showed that we can adapt when we need to, and effectively.
I wanted to do business school at a point in my hospitality career. I found out that my 3 years at IHM were not given the equivalent of a degree. This annoyed me so much that I took a break to get one. And I did, with honours!!
Later a friend who owned an ad agency asked me to consider joining him since I was done and free. I was concerned but he insisted that I would be fine and my inner me was pushing for it too, so I did.
They were two great years of my life where I learned everything they taught me and stuff that I taught myself. It reminded me that anything is possible!
Catch Me If You Can with Leonardo de Caprio came only in 2002; but it gave us a clear glimpse of what the human mind is capable of. It absorbs everything; then pushes out stuff when you need it the most.
I should know. I find myself transported to the strangest of places when I dip my nose into a glass of wine or whisky to discover its nuances. So was I never really down and out? You bet I was!! More than just a few times. But I put myself out there and made great efforts to move on.
The more positive you are, the more it seeps into your brain and the messages it sends out. Your body language changes. Your confidence and optimism shine through. So change from being down and out to being optimistic; from being broken-hearted to feeling whole again. Change career paths and be successful, overwrite on the imprints of the past and reshape your today and tomorrow.
